Investigate Your Responsibility
The world’s strongest man didn’t just wake up like that one day.
It takes most people effort to accomplish most things. If you want to accomplish a lot, expect a sizable investment. No one births a child and becomes the best parent ever, simultaneously. You may know a lot about children, you may have a Ph.D. in child psychology, and your husband might be a world-renowned educator. You might have both been the oldest children in families with six kids. You may have three kids already. But neither of you have been the parent to THIS kid yet. Sure, there may be some “short cuts” you feel that your previous experience can offer, but what if this child gets ill? Or has extremes in temperament? Or is allergic to a staple household food item? Or insists on being their own self marching to their own tune which seems to go with no one else's?
You don’t give up the kid. You grow WITH them.
This is what it means to fulfill your responsibilities even when you have to troubleshoot your way through the process. No, they aren’t always this long-term in investment, but many can be. Thinking of your responsibilities in a literary frame... one could say that you are a sleuth for life.
Think Sherlock. (Or Poirot, if you like.) It is the smallest detail that usually tips the scales and shows the truth of the crime, and it is the same way when troubleshooting what it takes to accomplish difficult tasks at hand. Much like the sleuth, try taking on the task in reverse order. Breaking down the parts of a seemingly insurmountable task can reveal a lot when looked at in reverse perspective. What are the steps involved? What is the preparation required? Who is part of the plan, and where do their responsibilities lie? How do you take the desired result, and break it down to a feasible collection of events?
Say you want your child to get an Ivy League college education. That’s a fantastic responsibility to undertake: the financial investment alone! Not to mention years of SAT prep, of top-dollar prep school, of supporting their extracurricular activities that feed admission requirements: the tutors, the debate classes, the music classes, the summer camps, the school trips, riding lessons, driving lessons, swimming lessons, serving your duty on the PTA, doing your turn at Coaching the ball team, attending the dance recitals, taking them to scouts, the playdates, the best kindergarten, the best preschool...investing the time in their early education to get them ahead of the curve...that means the one-on-one work, and more tutors, and flashcards, and why aren’t you playing Beethoven to the baby bump in utero right now?!
Of course, children CAN get an Ivy League education without all of that...but if this a goal you’ve set for yourself, your job, your responsibility, is to offer them their best chances, and with that comes almost two decades of effort and planning on your part. There is nothing wrong if your child doesn’t go to Harvard, but there is something very wrong in claiming that as the requirement, and leaving the child as the sole working member toward the goal.
Let’s look at this another way.
Say you are the shift lead in a coffee shop. The manager is out on leave, and ten minutes ago the espresso machine died. It's not responding to any replugging, resetting, or adjusting. Now, you happen to have a great manager, but they aren’t here right now. In fact, it’s only you and one other employee to hold down the fort on an unusually busy Wednesday. No one else in management is picking up your phone alerts. Do you just throw in the towel? After all, YOU aren’t the manager, this isn’t YOUR job to fix the machine. So, you just close the shop with a sign on the door saying something to the effect of,” Sorry, Espresso machine broke.” The next day you come in, and you’re fired. Why?
As a “Lead” you have a responsibility to the shop, to the management, to the owner. You are paid more for this responsibility, and in a time of crisis, you did not uphold your end of the bargain. Okay, sure, so maybe you can’t fix the Espresso Machine, but surely someone somewhere can. Is there a company bible that holds these key contacts for these key moments? Might you put your team member on the counter and go back into the office to investigate? Sleuth your way through every available option. Even if you’ve exhausted your resources on repair possibilities, the team can still push tea and baked goods as options. Apologize to your customers for the inconvenience, put in a work order to the boss via text and email, and then do your best to keep the spirits of your customers up and engaged. When leadership checks back in, you will be apprised of your options, and you will be able to get repair contact info for the future... Maybe take initiative and start a company bible of contact info for just these circumstances if one did not previously exist. Step up, step in, be a valuable asset. Be a part of the solution. Be the leader someone else can look up to and learn from.
We all have these moments where a task feels insurmountable or where we doubt the task ahead: “I know they put me in charge of the shop, but surely they weren’t thinking of this when they did so.” And y’know, sometimes you’re right. They weren’t. It never occurred to them. And maybe you wouldn’t be fired for leaving. But if you want more responsibility? (That is, if you want to make more money, have a better marriage, raise more prepared children, be more politically and socially engaged...) You better pull out your magnifying glass. And work your way backward. And backward. Till you get to your first step. Then: Take it.